You see buried in the background noise of our life in Hong Kong, is the music that we should try and expose our kids to as much of asian culture as we can. It seemed like a great idea. Nicholas would be staying at home with Eva and it would just be Maggie, Katy and I.
We were however done in by one small unnoticed “A” word. Authentic.
We made a reservation form 6:00. We came to the place on time and of course were the first customers, actually they were still setting up the place. You will recall in Hong Kong dinner starts around 7pm to 8pm. So they kinda looked at funny to begin with.
Then we noticed that it didn’t seem that they spoke english very well at all. Since we don’t speak Cantonese, this should be interesting. No worries, the menu is bilingual. The menu has set meals and courses. It also has ala carte. But you would be surprised how hard it is to explain your ala carte choices on a menu with a serious language barrier, so it seems we would have to go with the pre set choices.
The thing is every pre set choice has several course with what I consider hard core Asian food: abalone and the like. OK we can be adventurous, they have lobster on the menu and beef. At least Maggie will find something to eat.
The table as you may know has a large cooking grill in the center and 3 seats on each of the 3 sides. The chef comes, has no understanding of English, but we point to the preset course selections . Ok, he gesters, and we begin. I get the impression that if we spoke Cantonese, it would have been more enjoyable as I watch the 2 other groups at our table discuss each exotic course with the chef, who is more than happy to be friendly and informative….…in Cantonese.
We start with some vegetables and rice. OK. Then he brings out what are live, yes live, lobsters and abalone. Maggie seems a little confused by it, and I try to ignore it as he rips the live abalone from the shell and yes cooks it alive. Next come the lobsters which are unfortunately cooked alive in front of us on the grill. Now to be fair, I am not sure if the movements the lobster is making are residual nervous system twiches or if in fact it is still alive.
Would we like another Saki, yes please. Make it the large one.
Katy and I try to contain and hide our horror, as Maggie notes, “the lobster is bleeding.” Cooking seafood fresh here has something to do with bringing it alive to the table.
Each course that the chef cooks is fine to us, but Maggie is losing interest and doesn’t find any she likes. Did I mention each course is taking about 30 minutes? So 2 hours into this, Maggie is very hungry and Katy and I are getting stressed with the realization that Maggie is not going to eat here. Even the beef is too “spicy” for her . At least Katy and I find the food OK. We still think there is time to bring Maggie around to this cuisine.
Just then the chef in dramatic fashion pours oil of the grill and ignites it in a fireball that engulfs the entire grill about 6 inches from our faces. Did I mention the fire stick incident with Maggie? Maggie is not at all fond of fire. So the minute the chef ignites the grill, Maggie gasps and darts under Katy’s chair. Now Maggie is hungry and hiding under the chair and it is about 8pm. Very calmly and to her credit, I hear from under Katy’s chair, “Can we go now?” To be fair, I doubt the benny hanna’s in the US would create such an inferno.Gratiuously as we can we hurry along the last course and get the bill. Yes live food served here does cost a lot of money. We pay what has to be one of the most expensive dinner bills in Hong Kong for us and you guessed it head to McDonalds.
While sitting at McDonalds watching Maggie eat chicken nuggets, and Katy and I have a ice cream cone, we think, yes it did say “authentic” tappenaki. Oh well.
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